Tips for dating a married man. Good idea or bad thing to do?

Last Revised on September 25, 2011

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Tips for woman who wants to date a married man. Are you someone who is in love with a married man, and wants to continue dating him? Then it’s a sure thing that you are in a state of confusion at this moment in your life and seeking help to lessen or even eradicate this emotional torments you are going through. Here are some tips for how to make this type of relationship successful.

1. Know and recognize the social stigma. You probably already know this that most society doesn’t approve relationships in which one of the lover is at current married to someone else. Even though you two know that he doesn’t love his wife and therefore is seeing you, the society in which you two live doesn’t. So be ready to face th challenge.

2. Is he really in love with you? Sometimes it is also common for a woman to fall in love with a man who is already married but is seeking a female friend to talk to about his life outside his marital life. It maybe that this male friend is just seeking friendship and nothing more – that he wants to keep his wife and not get divorce.

3. Read the statistics. Most relationships where a women is dating a married man doesn’t last long. There are many factors and two most common one being that the guy was only infatuated with you and that’s all, and secondly, why did he not have a succesful relationship with his wife to start with. If he is saying that his feelings and lifestyle doesn’t match with his current wife, then how did he end up marrying her. Ask these questions to yourself.

4. Is it good idea or bad thing to do? Dating a married man is no joke and carries a lot of drawbacks as discussed already. But as a female, it is you who will have to decide whether this man is the right person for you. Why does he attract you? How long can you keep having this “sneaky” relationship with him behind his wife? How would you feel if you were his wife and he was sleeping around with another women? It is you who has to decide at the end; so spend enough time and ask your good friends for different views.

5. Is it time to move forward with your life now? Is he manipulative or really loving natured guy? Don’t spend the rest of your life wondering if he will ever get a divorce from his spouse and move forward with you. Give him a specific time frame to choose between you and the relationship he says is no good for him. It is also important to realize that most men don’t want to go through emotions and mental stress of leaving their family behind.

6. According to Dr. Phil, relationship born out of affairs survive less than 5 percent if any at all.  Eventually his wife will find out and will be left heart-broken, and next will be you. This is not to discourage you, to encourage you to think intelligently and not emotionally.

7. Keep your sanity. It may be completely pointless if you have already decided to stay in relationship with him no matter what, but make sure you stay sane. Make him commit to you before you commit to him. However, don’t make ultimatums that you won’t follow through; otherwise the problem will multiply by many times.

Please share your stories and advice for a girl who is thinking about dating a married man.

As always, please feel free to leave suggestions, ask any questions for help or simply discuss the topic. We highly appreciate your involvement and input everyday. If find it helpful, please share it with your friends by using one of the buttons below.

54 Responses to “Tips for dating a married man. Good idea or bad thing to do?”

  1. First time is different Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    I feel like I am home wrecker, just put plain and simple because I can’t be dishonest with myself anymore. I feel like this married guy I have fallen in love with is willing to tell any women anything they wanna hear for some sex. We don’t know for sure though; that’s the problem. The doubt. Do I need to stop this misery from continuing on and more importantly should I face his wife and tell all?

  2. Tammy F Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Here is answer for any women who is looking to date or marry a man who is already married or having a relationship: GET YOUR OWN MAN!!! Come on, do you really have to stoop so low as to invade someone elses family. If he is doing it, then he’s a bastard for doing it. What’s wrong with you? Are there not Millions of other men out there, who might be single, or divorced? Look for a divorced one…if the whole being married thing turns you on, get a divorced one…at least he “was” married before right? ooohh how hot??? isnt it? In this position, your worse of a person than he is. He is unhappy in his marriage because he doesn’t try to fix it and honestly, most of the time it’s the guy’s fault, so he looks elsewhere. You as a women is accepting a man who is cheating on his wife and deceiving his family. maybe you are such a good person. (sarcasm)….find yourself someone else to marry. Firstly, he’s not going to leave her. Secondly, what happens if he’s with you and he’s unhappy after a while??? There will be another “you” asking this same question. Lastly and most importantly, it is completely immoral…just stop it. Let him deal with his own problems, and Find your own. I’m sure your not too ugly to find one.

  3. thinktankgirl Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    This relationship is a huge waste of your time. Spend your life most productively and happily dear. This guy is cheater and cheating is the cruelest form of betrayal – I wouldn’t want a man like this. Raise your standards. Find a better love. There are so many single men out there. why him? don’t tell me he is good and this and that.

  4. Jasen Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Do you introduce this man to your friends as your “married lover”? Probably not.

    Divorce is really hard and expensive. If he isn’t already in the divorce mode, than it is likely that he never will be. That is unless his wife is the one to pull the trigger.

    Don’t know what your expecting, but if it is more then sex I think you are in for disappointment.

    Seems to me there are a lot of single guys out there for you. Besides the fact if he is cheating on the wife what makes you think he would stay faithful to you?

  5. Valerie Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    1. They NEVER leave their wife.

    2. Yes, he is still having sex with HER.

    3. They ALWAYS say they are SO UNHAPPY….check with the wife, I am sure she can tell you a totally different story.

    4. He spends every holiday with his family, because thats WHO HE WANTS TO SPEND IT WITH.

    5. Men like this say anything just to get in your pants. If if wasn’t you, it would be someone else.

    6. You probably are not the first woman he has cheated with. Of course, he may say you are, but if you choose to believe a man that is LYING to his WIFE, what makes you think YOU ARE SO SPECIAL????

    7. The second she finds out about you, he will drop you like yesterday’s news. Believe it.

    Anything else you want to know????

  6. bigsexy2333 Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    If he cheating on his wife-whats to say hes not cheating on you-how could you even consider a relationship with anybody whose a cheater- your relationship started with a lie. If he could do it to his wife whose to say that down the road he wouldnt do it to you-remember is always easier the second cheat!!

  7. Mimi Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Girl, you better wake up and smell the coffee. If things were as bad as he says with his wife, he would have been gone a long time ago. I was married to a man who loved women, he had affairs throughout our entire time of being married. What was his excuse to his other woman? Well, take notes. He would tell the other woman ( they all talked to me after I found out about him) that I wouldn’t cook for him, that I would always argue with him, that I kept a messy house and didn’t like children. Just like your man is saying to you now about his wife, but guess what. I love cooking, the house was always clean, I gave him freedom, gave him sex like crazy and I raised his 2 twin daughters for 5 years, while their mother decided to be a real mother. So you see everything he told these women about me were all lies or the opposite of what he was saying. Your man might be bored with his marriage, but I believe thats all he has is boredom. Beleive me honey, he will NEVER leave his wife. Unless, she finds out about you and if she does, what makes you think she will leave? and if she does, would you be able to trust he won’t do the same to you. Things that make you go HHHHHmmmmmmm! Run, girl, run.

  8. eve Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    It seems to me like you are some kind of play thing for him.

    If he goes around bragging about you, his wife know about you and chooses to ignore it, or they have an open marriage, or she is just very stupid.

    As long as you and his wife let him do it, then he is scott free, getting his cake and eating it to.

    But when you started dating a married man you get what you deserve, knowing that he is involved with someone else and still going out with him anyway.

    Would you really consider a committed relationship with him knowing that he has cheated before. (not on you, but with you on his wife)

  9. MN Girl Says:
    April 18th, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Oh gosh, if you are that girl that all i have to say is that you are simply the other woman. Period. He probably will not leave his wife. The relationship you have is purely physical since it is that aspect of his marriage that is dead, most of the time that’s the case. This woman will have no future of a serious relationship with such man and I would suggest such woman should move on if there is a desire for real love relationship.

  10. Feeling stupid Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    I’m in a “relationship” with a married man and I’m engaged. I am putting quotes on the “relationship” because we mostly talk and e-mail. There’s nothing physical happening since it’s hard to get out to meet each other because he lives 2 hours away. When we do, we mostly hold hands and talk — all in public places…he asked me if I would want to be with him if he left his wife. I said “yes”. Now I’m not sure. What if he cheats on me? Why wouldn’t he? #3 in this column hit me right between the eyes.

  11. sk Says:
    June 11th, 2011 at 12:44 am

    Hi, if any woman is in that kind of relationship, I would just say discontinue it right here. He is just playing with your emotions. Stop him from doing that and move on in your life. It’s just a common sense. I know it is very difficult to take such a decision, but finally it will be worth it. First step is to tell him that it is over, it will be painful, but then take some time out to understand yourself, your ambitions, goals, aspirations. Go spiritually, if you can. Time will definitely heal all the pains. You will forget everything after sometime and will definitely lead a good life. Keep only one thing in your mind, always believe in yourself and your basic instinct.

  12. Giving money to a married man Says:
    June 17th, 2011 at 4:26 am

    I have a problem with a married man and I am married too. This man has asked me to give him money to finish filing his divorce paper. I told him yes at first but then later I changed my mind and to him no. He was so upset that he stop talking to me. I think I did the right thing by telling him no.

  13. married Says:
    June 22nd, 2011 at 1:54 am

    just get over him and move on,married man who cheat are losers,they have no idea what love or commitment in a relationship is.

  14. Ocean Says:
    June 25th, 2011 at 9:19 am

    I dont agree, in my case my married man loves me, we are both leaving our partners as we are not happy with them, havent been for years, we have found true love with each other and want to be together for ever, neither of us have had affairs in the past, so what I am saying, is, dont think every man is a cheater, some are very genuine and looking for true love

  15. amh Says:
    July 7th, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    I am dating a guy who is married but has been seperated (living in an apartment) for 8 months. Neither he nor his wife has filed. He says he is going to in a few weeks and won’t tell their son til it is final. He hasn’t told his son about me. I read stories and I am starting to wonder if I am dating a guy who just needs someone when he doesn’t have his son. Any advice?

  16. Stupid me Says:
    July 30th, 2011 at 12:05 am

    I am dating a married man and ive realised that um stupid. dating a married man is a complete waste of time. hez using me for sex only

  17. Crazy me Says:
    August 23rd, 2011 at 6:26 am

    I met a married men a few months ago in March this year. It started of as a casual thing – as I had been single for 3 years and he’s from overseas on business and would not return to my country. It’s been 5 months now – we emailed each other every single day and he came visited for a few days… I still don’t know what’s going on… I lacked the self control to let him go… the feeling was so intense that I just don’t know how to let it go… he’s not even near… Any advice?

  18. Rena Says:
    August 25th, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    Anybody who mess with anyone married is miserable and can’t find a men or women or looking for. Someone to take care of them they want to be treated like the wife or husband but trust me u want get what they get if anything happened to either one u end up with nothing so y waste ur time…hummm something to think about loser

  19. Edited Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 8:33 am

    I have personally been in a relationship with a married man and I’ve gone through the same phases like most of you writing here do now. And because he left his wife and child for me and not by coincidence, but because I worked towards this goal, I want to share my story with you, all the women dating a married guy ——

    Good luck :)

  20. mlindos Says:
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:23 am

    Hi!I’m ndy I’m dating a married man & now I’m pregnent I’m nervous he’s a busy man & I think he is avoiding me.Before he was crazy about me he even build a house for me but he’s so distance now. I confronted him he is dinying that I need a advice plz

  21. DQ Says:
    October 17th, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    I am also in a very similar situation. I am a married woman and I am in a relationship with a married man. I first dated him in high school. We grew up and ended up goin separate ways. We married and had our own families, but we always remained friends. We hav been friends for the past 20 years. Three and a half years ago, we realised we stil love each other. Funny thing is, we both have happy marriages, and we both won’t destroy our family lives. Sad thing is, we love each other dearly. We live in different cities, and see each other maybe twice a year. We chat everyday and share our innermost secrets. You may not believe this, but we have never had sex. Its not important to both of us. When we do meet, we kiss and cuddle and enjoy each others company. I believe that this is true love, but somehow it was not meant for us to be together.

  22. Sharolyn Says:
    October 18th, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    My lady friend says I’m a family wreaker & mistress,yes I’ve fallen deep in love with a married man his wife doesn’t know but he did tell me he’ll never leave his wife/family for me I’m hurt by the way cos I never know when he mention break up our relationship.I was hurt by my previous boyfriend,yet now is he I know he’s the wrong man yet still continue luckily now both of us are still keeping in touch as friends.I’m glad enough,;)

  23. iknow Says:
    October 21st, 2011 at 9:38 am

    questions for all you narrow minded people…1, if he is unhappy, why should he destroy the family he has when he can find some happiness with his part time girl friend and keep the family together? 2, why do all of you think that the part time girlfriend wants more than that? sometimes fun is all thats needed for both people and everyone returns to their family happier! wake up! its not all heart ache and horror stories!

  24. thoby Says:
    October 23rd, 2011 at 12:09 am

    It such a pity that at the end of the day the other women always get the blame , yes I’m talking on the behalf of the other women…. Some one said get your own man let me say this A married man has been asking me out for more than a year now ididnt want to hear it but he has been chasing ever since. Now the question who is running after who and this man are so persuasive and irritating but at the end we take the blame , to married women please entertain yours man so they can leave us in peace.

  25. ashamed... Says:
    October 23rd, 2011 at 12:11 am

    My heart is filled with guilt whenever i think of his wife but im in love with him, i cannot chose to leave him..Its painful coz we’ve got involved physically too…please advice…i know im wrong but there were many factors for this decision of mine…i know he wont leave his wife and kids for me..Infact i dont want him to leave them making them fatherless…please help

  26. in love with married guy Says:
    November 14th, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    I don’t care what you all think but I am seriously in love with a guy who I knew from the beginning that he has kids and has wife t home. It could be my risk taking behaviour that is making me fall in love with him, but after dating him for few weeks, which is long enough time to know a man, I have fallen for him and want to take next step level of relationship.

  27. You guys are idiots Says:
    November 14th, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    And so am I.

    Open letter to my dearest d-bag,

    I know you love me. I truly believe your relationship with your wife is terrible, has been for years, but there’s the kids to think about… love them too. If you hadn’t moved out of state and were closer to family….you would already be divorced. So, unfortunately for us, your wife holds all the cards.

    I was in an unhappy marriage too, you know. I FULLY understand the guilt that goes along with separating from a
    spouse and the imense guilt that you have irrevocably damaged your child / children.

    And let me just say the way you pursued me was so subtle and cute. I love the way you make me laugh. I love the fact that we can talk or not talk for hours. You think I am smart, and tell me I am beautiful. The love for Chevy Chase comedies was too much for me to resist. TOTALLY TRUE LOVE.

    Which makes this so difficult to say……

    Thank you so much for your time (That “time” being during normal business hours, your drive home, possibly during your child’s football practice, or when you went out for really long walks).

    I will leave you with a quote from Bob Dylan’s “Masters of War”: “I see through your eyes, and I see through your brain. Like I see throughout the water that runs down my drain”.

    Most sincerely,
    No longer your friend. In any way, shape or form.

    P.S. I am going on the date with the chef


  28. Really Says:
    November 15th, 2011 at 8:22 am

    okay this really kind of makes me angry…to see that so many women are saying that the “other woman” is a homewrecker. I myself am involved with a married man but I’m also married myself and going through with my divorce. I don’t think it’s fair for people to be so quick to judge because if he was so in love and happy with his wife he wouldn’t be trying to see the “other woman” anyways. When it comes to my particular situation I’ve known this man for over 10 years he has always tried his hardest to pursue me but I just didn’t do it. But now it’s like whatever. My advice to any woman out there is to be sure that you can handle this type of relationship, know what you want out of it because you in the end always have to be willing to proctect your self at all times. I also find the word relationship to be a hard one to say….because I don’t consider myself in a relationship with this man I see it as a friendship. But when you start developing feelings (and yes you will know) that’s when you sit down and have that talk that could make or break your situation…..if it’s just for fun then leave it like that but if both of you are wanting more than you just have to be honest with him and yourself and let him know that look this isn’t what I want and if you aren’t willing to change then I’m done with you and just cut all ties with him. Love is a crazy thing and sometimes we can’t help who we fall for but in these cases we really have to consider ourselves more. If he loves you like he says he does than it shouldn’t be that hard. Now when kids come into play,,,that’s the tricky part. That will be their main excuse for not wanting to leave but most families now a days are “blended” any way and if that’s his excuse then pack up an run like hell, because you have just wasted alot of time on this guy. But good luck to others out there…remember love yourself first then when a man comes a long and tells you all of the your beautiful, smart, and I love you you want be so quick to just jump into the relationship…..if you already know these things about yourself then you won’t be pharsed by it when he tells you these things. :-) Good Luck!!!

  29. nina Says:
    November 19th, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    i like married man

  30. Love My Mr. Wrong Says:
    November 26th, 2011 at 11:12 am

    I am the other woman. It was not my intention to fall in love. But i am in love and he is also in love with me. He puts me before his wife in everything. They are not happy but he is staying together for reasons i dont need to say. Yea of course i feel bad at times but i cant help it if i love him. I am more happy with him than i have ever been with any other man so why i should i leave him..

  31. Confused n deeply inlove Says:
    December 1st, 2011 at 4:38 am

    Well, am in a realationship wit a married men we hv been together for 3yrs now, am inlove wit him so bad, dat I feel sorry 4 da wife at times becus knw women diseves to be cheated on. Now ths men am involved. Wit doesn’t want me to date other men besides him but yet his married he told me he want to be wit me forever which I feel da every smeway, but sumday I wanna get married to him but I dnt want him to leave his wife n kids, da way I luv him I don’t mind bring wife no2… :) @da end of da day only ur heart decideds who it wants to be wit weather MARRIED OR NOT! I luv him wit his family!!!!

  32. Sortanotreally Says:
    December 11th, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    Not every situation is black and white. There’s an area that’s shaded gray! I am in a relationship with a married man who I have been friends with for several years. He suspected his wife has been having affairs for a while but I was there when he finally found out. At first I encouraged him to work it out and after a year of her continuing her behavior he started thinking about leaving and I was supportive of that as well. For the last 2 years he has been in love with me, he was very respectful to his wife and I because he never told me. I knew from actions as he was my biggest support these last couple of years. We have just began to be intimate and I will admit it can be difficult at times. He has prepared himself his wife and I for his departure from that marriage. At times I too let my mind wander to what if’s but all situations are different and until I have a reason to do otherwise I will take him for his word. So yes I am an Other Woman but we all have to assess our situation within itsself and make our own mistakes! Everyone deserves a little happiness sometimes :-)

  33. deeply in love Says:
    December 13th, 2011 at 4:04 am

    hi, i am also in love with a married man we have been dating for months now and i love him so much i dont know what to do coz i love him and he loves me too, now he thinks i am cheating , sometimes i think of leaving him but i just can’t i love him so much and he once told me that he is not gonna leave his wife for me but i love him i don’t care about that i feel so safe when i am with him he is better than single man coz they wil just use u and leave u

  34. Marriedinlove Says:
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:28 am

    As has already been noted above, life rarely is black and white. Most of the time there is more going on than what is evident on the surface. I’m a married man who is in a relationship with another woman. You want to call this an affair? Sure, we will call it an affair.

    I got married when I was very young and I’m pretty sure that both me and my wife were more in love with the “idea” of being in love than we really were with each other. We didn’t have a lot in common, even back then. Years have gone by, we have three kids and we are married now more out of convenience than anything else. That sounds sad to say, but it’s true… when we are married we can share finances, not have to worry about figuring out joint custody of the kids, and just simply have someone else around to share in responsibilities.

    But still… it’s been a very long time since I can say we have loved each other. She has cheated on me twice. She is the self-appointed decision maker in the house, and downright resents when I even attempt to pose a differing opinion. She also is very specific in what our interests are… and when I say OUR interests, I say so because I don’t have interests of my own. Her interests are my interests, any interests I may mistakenly believe I have that were not approved by her are irrelevant.

    Obviously… I’m miserable.

    Then six months ago I met the most amazing woman of my life. We met on a game we play online and just started talking. The spark was there immediately. We have so much in common it’s downright eerie. We both have really odd senses of humor that nobody has ever been able to really ‘get’, but we understand each other totally. Within a month of meeting her I knew that this is the woman that is my 100% match.

    I’m in the process of a divorce right now, and I understand why it doesn’t happen often in this situation. It’s HARD to give up safety and security only to strike out into a complete unknown… but I love this woman, and I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t try to make this happen.

    And for the record, we don’t have sex. That, among other things, are off limits right now. Despite all my issues with my wife, we want this to happen in a way that is respectful of her and of my kids… so we have chosen to hold off on sex until after I’m divorced.

  35. Libido Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:17 am

    Tips are very needy and helpful a lot. But there is no any bad effect for that. But i think this effect will be different from the country to country.

  36. de[pressed on the delta Says:
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:06 am

    I have been involved with a married man 4 almost 3 years. and i know i need 2 break it off. he has made it perfectly clear he will never leave his wife and two small daughters. He has tried 2 convince me that they have not had sex for 9 years. other than that they have a good marriage, they dont argue they still go on vacations. he does not lie to her to come see me. I feel in love and ever since then we we have lots of fights. i have ended it several times but he wont leave me alone. and the minute i see him i cave in. i am a bsrtender so he comes into my job even after i tell him not to. he is very open in public and kisses me out on the main streets. how his wife is not suspicious i have not got a clue. he does not help me financially and i am tired of spending nights weekends holidays alone. you are probably wondering why its so hard to walk away. well our sex life is awesome and i like his smile, his kisses, the way he looks at me. when we are together he makes me feel good about myself.. i am fifty and have been told i am in great shape for my age. i get hit on as a bartender but i am in love with him. i am afraid i will have to move out of state to get over him and not have to run into him. help i am hurting

  37. don'tfallforit Says:
    April 4th, 2012 at 5:05 am

    I am a man. I can’t believe these threads. Look he would leave if he was in love with you. He wouldn’t be able to stand the dual life. He would miss you. He couldn’t stand being with her. He is sleeping with his wife. He is telling you stories. His life isn’t that bad. If it was all that bad-HE”D LEAVE!
    These same horrible things he says to you about his wife will be turned on you when she finds out. As soon as she finds out – he will say he couldn’t help it- you seduced him. You didn’t mean anything to him because he just knew you were easy. That’s how it happened. It was because you were an easy piece that everyone knows they can get into bed. He will throw you under the bus.
    When his real life is threatened – you will be the one to go- and it won’t be pretty. If sex was the only reason to stay together then you might win. However it is not. I hate to tell you this but part of the reason the sex with our wives isn’t great any longer is because we let it get that way. When we are doing it with someone else – it sparks us up at home as well and really while I was having the affair was some of the hottest sex I ever had with my wife.
    I know all this because I did it. Good luck and keep going back so he can get some side.
    I for one would do anything to take back what I did to my wife. I can’t – I lost the only person I have ever loved- the love of my life- and this was not the other woman.
    I can’t stand to look at my affair partner- because she is the reason my life is ruined. The great sex is not great anymore knowing I destroyed everything for this so called great sex. I am disgusted with my affair partner now- try as I might – I blame her – I blame myself- but she was just as much to blame. She was my friend- she could have helped me rebuild my marriage when we talked about it being in trouble – instead she slept with me.
    When your married guy tells you he loves you – please keep in mind-most of us got married and believed we would be faithful. Most of us thought we would be faithful to our wives. When we find ourselves in the middle of an affair, it’s hard to believe that we are doing this. We tell you we care probably because at some level we do- but it is more because- we have to rationalize this really bad behavior to ourselves. I mean really- I couldn’t have woke up every day and looked in the mirror and said- today I am going to go use a woman- then come home and use my wife and quite possibly Screw my kids out of the life they deserved. Telling my affair partner I cared made me feel better, it made me be able to rationalize all of my actions. It was all about making me feel better for my behaviors.
    The sad part is I really missed my affair partner after my wife found out, but that wasn’t love – it was missing how I had two women to take care of all my needs. I missed having this woman pawn after me. Willing to do anything to get my attention. It took me two months to realize she was not anything to me.
    I am not trying to be mean – I am trying to help you- you all deserve better than this.

  38. Deceitful Says:
    April 22nd, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I’ve been involved with a man who is also my boss for about 3 years. I’m also married but I’ve developed feelings for him. Our relationship is purely sexual & he’s never said that he had any feelings for me. I’ve tried to break things off but he won’t stop pursuing me. I’m trying to leave because of how I feel about him so I won’t get hurt & I’m afraid to tell him. Can a man really have sex with a woman for almost 3 years & not develop feelings? What should I do? Advice please!

  39. crazy i know Says:
    July 25th, 2012 at 1:08 am

    i have been seeing him for 2 years now. i love him so much, he makes me blush, he is funny, and so intelligent, but i dont want to wreck his family. i dont want to be the woman that caused her pain.and the idea of marriage freaks me out because i have seen so many divorces around me, and domestic voilence cases. its like ive developed a phobia. having said that, i wouldn’t mind staying his mistress :)for as long as we make each other happy. i never think about a life with him, the moments with are so great, i never think that far…..

  40. Amarie Says:
    July 26th, 2012 at 4:17 am

    I am really glad to come across your article, as there are so many girls falling in the trap of dating a married man, and the sooner they understood how wrong is that the better for them!I am 28 myself and would never consider this as an option, because from what I’ve seen so far with friends of mine, who has been involved in such type of affairs, it never ended happily for them and so I hope this article can be an eye-opener for girls who are currently in such situation.

  41. Craziness Says:
    August 2nd, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    Reading some of this is so sad!! It’s ablsoulty crazy to think that anything good would come from something that was built on a lie! And the areas of gray in a marriage are not ur concern!! As a woman I could never date a married man I’m too worried about how I would feel of the shoe was on the other foot !! But that’s the problem these day women have no self respect and then get mad when a man has no respect for them !! Learn to love ur self cuz if u did u would know that u deserve better than some man telling u that he’s goin to leave his wife !! U deserve a man that u can call ur own!! That u can take around ur family and friends and feel good about flaunting him !! Get it together ladies men won’t respect u if u don’t respect ur self !

  42. # 41 is so right Says:
    September 11th, 2012 at 1:03 am

    I’m a man and totally agree with #41.Men will think less of you if you sleep with them knowing you are married.I would know you’re setteling for less.You can’t do better than to be with me, A married man.?Hell she’ll give me herself even though she knows i’m married? What else can i get away with.Talk about having your cake and eating it!What low self esteem she must have of herself.That’s what I would think of such a woman.And that’s right I’m not leaving my wife,ever.So just accept that about me and don’t ask me anything about her.Let’s just talk about when we can hook up again and again until you wake up and finally find a single man of your own.That’s the way it is women out there.( just find a single man of your own)not someone else’s!!period.

  43. What foolish people exist Says:
    September 11th, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    Any one that knowingly gets involved with a married person is wasting their time and risking getting confronted by a angry spouse.Don’t any of you watch cheaters? Only 2 things are likely to happen.BOTH ARE BAD FOR YOU.You either end up getting caught by the spouse and have to deal with the consequences. ( might get you shot or beat up)Or you end up helping ruin someones marriage and end up with a cheater you’ll never be able to trust.Why go thru all this non sense when there are so many single people out there?Remember once a cheater always a cheater.Cheaters are selfish and self centered people.Just find yourself an available person and you’ll be much better off.

  44. naomi21 Says:
    December 3rd, 2012 at 11:27 pm

    you know what crazy i always talk about women who date married men, but my dumb ass went with one. in my case im only 21 years old dating this older men. The reason why i think i did it because i just wanted to be loved. At first he was just a sugar daddy then became my man. from being out of abusive relationship, raped, and dating women. My lifestly is totally fucked up. my parents were never around to help me with advice. I just been throuh alot and i could really use some mental help. I really do wanna leave this man, but he makes me feel good u know. when noone wasnt around he was already there. he buys me things, tells me how preety iam, and help me with my needs. you can judge me but i dont get a “fuck” but this is what i think. I think im going to leave h and just move on with my life because i guess it was the support he was giving me that anyone else has. so i suggest everyone else does the same and its okay to fool around someone but there are consequences…

  45. karma Says:
    December 12th, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Just remember anyone who is cheating on their spouse is someone that goes around their problems and they will always have the same issues.You certainly can not trust such a person.If this is the way they deal with their problems ,that’s how they will deal with it if they end up with you.So best bet is to move on to someone who is not attatched.Why would you want to trust a cheater ,there’s too much lying and deception going on with that person.Don’t fool yoursely and don’t waste any more time,the longer you stick around the more likely you will get caught.And you’re passing up too many single girls at the same time…

  46. tosh Says:
    December 26th, 2012 at 3:37 am

    Im in a relationship with a married man and Im in love with him, I just found out he was married when we first started having talks on the phone and texting then dating and spend alot of time together, he never told me he was married. I would of never thought this would happen to me but Im in love with him and Im really trying to leave him alone, We have been together now for almost a year but I love him and I really feel in my heart he loves me, he has even moved out of the home with his wife I feel really bad but he told me she cheated on him first so he forgave her and stayed to try and make the marriage work but he says he is no longer in love with her he’s in love with me, and he wants us to be together sometimes he still spends the night at the home him and his wife have together,and he really gets mad at me when I have a male friend at my house what in the world is going on with this man I know I should just move on and Im trying but Im in love with him so much.

  47. karma Says:
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:56 am

    You get what you build.Build a relationship based on lies and deceict,what do you think will come of it? Yup more lies and deciet.Trust and honesty are at the top of any relationship if it is to be successful.

  48. karma Says:
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    The worst thing about getting involved with someone else’s spouse is all the time and efforts that will be wasted.In the end they never leave their spouse ,and you are left wondering about all the potential relationships that you passed up on because you were hung up on the married one.What a waste.Life is not a dress rehearsal people,you only have one go around.Why waste your time on someone that already belongs to someone else.You’re lying to yourself if you think that this cheating deceitful lying person is thee one for you.One that’ll lie and cheat is not a trustworthy person.So why would you want to kid yourself that they will be honest and trustworthy to you?You wouldn’t trust a wolf around a bunch of sheep would you? Then don’t trust a cheater.Best advice is simply go find a single person that you can call your own,not someone else’s spouse….

  49. ChangedLife Says:
    February 7th, 2013 at 9:39 am

    My husband recently passed away. I am not ready for a commitment from anyone yet, but I do appreciate the attention and fun that I am getting from a married man. This is just what we both want/need right now. I am not ready for a relationship, and he doesn’t want to leave his wife so he isn’t mentally ready for a relationship, either. I asked him when we first met if he was happy with his wife. His response is “most of the time”, so why try to muddy the water trying to pretend LOVE is going to get involved? I agree with many, that if he would mess around on his wife with you, then you had better expect it to happen to you down the road. He already knows that he can get away with it, and has experience on what to do to hide it. But, I also agree that the wife cannot blame the other woman. If he didn’t want to mess around on his wife, he wouldn’t. Saying that he couldn’t help it, or that the woman “made” him do it…it is just a cop-out for a person that didn’t have the fortitude to be faithful.

  50. how to survive an affair in marriage Says:
    March 8th, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    I love both of you guys so much and by the way perfect mach!!!!!!!!

  51. What foolish people exist Says:
    May 1st, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    I agree with 47,Trust and being faithful are at the top of my list ,when it comes to being in a relationship.If you don’t trust your spouse it will make for a stressed out marriage.Once it has been broken you might as well move on.

  52. shawnsbaby Says:
    August 24th, 2013 at 3:44 am

    I have been dating a married man for 7 years now, for the first 5 years I guess you could say we were using eachother for sex because I would cut him off if I was in a realationship with another man. The past 2 years have been very intence and even thought our realationship as very close friends has stayed the same, we have gotton much closer and much more serious. He has 2 young kids and a house, fence, 2 dogs…the whole nine, hes is very possessive and jelous over me, also a little bit controlling but im the same way with him, I know this is all a waste of time but the thing is, even though I love him, I would NEVER EVER want to be in a relationship with him because…he’s a lier and a cheater obviously! He has had no reason to lie to me in the past but who knows, and Im moving out of the state in about 14 months so I tell myself im just keeping him around until then, and we have safe sex so theres no risk of pregnancy. I look at it like this, there is no point whatsoever to date a married man because you might not have real feelings for hm at first but I promise they will eventually creep in and then even though you are awate, and even comfortable with the situation, its probably steaming from low self esteem or serious confucion in life, so I would say, you should do better.

  53. eyeswideopen Says:
    February 6th, 2014 at 8:23 am

    I have just read all these comments and I still feel confused. I believe that things happen for a reason. Sometimes yes married men don’t leave their wife but sometimes they do. I think its comfort and security that keeps them in a “unhappy” relationship. Everyone deserves to be happy. The other woman is not always to blame, nor is the married man. Sometimes it just happens. I think that every situation is different and you have to make the finally say if you think its worth your time or not. I do believe if he loves you and is truly he will make an effort to leave his wife but you have to show him that you will be there for him when he does. Man are as sensitive as women and in some cases worst. I think sometimes women don’t appreciate that wonderful man that you have at home, that works hard and gives you everything you want and need. He is starving for attention and if you don’t give it, he will find it somewhere else. I have meet a wonderful married man. He is so beat up and caught up in this unhappy marriage. It breaks my heart for him. I used to think once a cheater always a cheater. But that’s not really true. People do bad things sometimes but that should not shape their whole life and smack a big label on them of “always a cheater”. Good luck ladies and wish you the best.

  54. dating a married man Says:
    March 25th, 2014 at 6:18 am

    hi,im in a relationship with a married an and four years now and i dont seem to have a problem with him up to today because he’s the for me,when ever i need him and im happy

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